There She Blows!

Last Wednesday was the last time I was able to breathe through my nose! Last Thursday was the last time I was able to taste any food. Today it feels as though I have a golf ball stuck in my throat. I seriously hate being sick!

I haven't been into my office since last Wednesday. I'm the type of person who refuses to walk around the office sneezing, coughing and spreading my germs, and I appreciate the fact that most of my coworkers have no problem in calling out sick.

The funny thing about me when I'm sick is that I get bursts of energy out of nowhere. Today I was speaking with a friend in San Diego, and they asked what have I done all day today. So I told him:

1. Cleaned out my two car garage
2. Cleaned my deck and straightened up my patio furniture
3. Pulled the grills out so I could get motivated to grill this weekend
4. Cleaned out the shed and broke down some boxes that have been taking up space in it
5. Waxed my wood floors in the living room and dining room
6. Plucked my eyebrows

Now, if I hadn't been sick, I would have quickly found someone to do items 1-5 for me (no one messes w/my eyebrows but me), but when I'm sick I have the strength of Job. I finally finished everything around 5pm today, so I retreated to my bedroom. All of a sudden, a wave of dizziness hit me and I immediately fell back onto my bed. I guess the wave of energy had to end eventually.

My son and nephew walked into the room and they immediately said, "We're hungry".

Damn.

After doing all of those errands around my house, I totally forgot about dinner! Soon after they asked the question, my phone rang, and I answered it. My friend Scott asked to speak to me, and I'm like, "HELLO?? This is ME!", he said, "Oh, my bad, you sound like a dude", wow, thanks, I thought to myself. So I gave him my woe is me story and like a true friend, he came by with pizzas and soda in hand! If I wasn't sick, I would have planted a big one on him. He was definitely a life saver! Dinner was saved. And I was even lucky enough to have him stick around to make sure the boys showered and made it to sleep on time.

So here I am, drowsy, but restless. I have to pull it together to make it in to work tomorrow and on top of that I have a conference to attend on Thursday & Friday. Being that the meds haven't been working, I'm about to pull one of Grandma's home remedies out. Although she recommended some hot Rock & Rye , I think I might have to stick to something that won't have me hung over in the morning!

So if anyone has any home remedies for a sore throat, cough, stuffy nose and post nasal, please by all means, let me know!

Bird Flu ~M.I.A

Moldy Men

To the right, that's a piece of molded bread. Molding is a natural process for bread once it's been sitting around after about two weeks. Eventually it starts to get that moldy smell, and soon the spores sprout and mold forms. It not only happens to bread, but just about anything if you let it sit around long enough.

Even men.

Have you ever met a man that you weren't immediately attracted to? You hang out a few times, but you still can't say that he's someone you can see yourself involved with? Even though he seems to have everything going for him, there's just something that isn't giving you that immediate feeling of attraction. It could be either his looks, something about his personality, maybe his head is too big for his neck, or he's just an inch shorter than what you're used to?

But instead of severing ties with this person, because there's no need in stringing him along, you allow him to 'grow' on you like mold.

There have been several times in the span of my dating career (yeah, I call it a career b/c it's hard ass work sometimes) where that initial attraction wasn't there, but I said to myself, "Maybe, I'll just see what happens".

Now, not to sound superficial, but the initial attraction to me is always purely physical. So needless to say, my moldly men have included men who instead of having a six pack, may have had a keg, instead of having smooth perfect skin, may have had a few razor bumps, instead of having a perfect set of teeth, usually had either a set that could have belonged to a rabbit, or something with a gap as big as the Suez Canal.

If only these men realized from the get-go, that I was making concessions for them, because of something that I may have saw in their personality. Maybe I should have shown them photos of my past boyfriends, which included the 'model' types, because maybe, just maybe if I did, then their egos would have not superceeded their aesthetically challenged looks.

I was talking to a cousin of mine the other day, and we realized that all of the "Moldly Men" we have dated, whether it took their looks to grow on us or their personality, it backfired in the worst ways! Some of these men turned out to be some of the biggest assholes ever. I half seriously and half jokingly told her that I refuse to get suck in by someone who I think could grow on me. For now on, if there isnt' that immediate attraction, be it physical or mental, I'm not going to let them mold on me, but fold them away like an old outfit that I never plan on wearing again. Because in the long run, I think I'd rather go about my life knowing that if I happened to break up with someone or vice versa, it was someone who there was that immediate 'click' with, not with someone that I had to make concessions for.

Mommie Dearest

"No more wire hangers, no more wire hangers!", I'm not sure why every time I see that scene in, "Mommie Dearest", I practically die from laughter. I think I might have watched that movie about forty-eleven times growing up. It seemed as though it aired about once a month on the new defunct WPIX Channel 11 in the NYC/NJ area.

As a child, I can honestly say I didn't have it to bad. My sisters/brother & I were far from being spoiled kids, but we also clearly recognized the boundaries and when NOT to cross the line. Once we crossed that line, we knew there were always going to be some serious repercussions & ramifications.

I think I had it particularly hard because I was the oldest. I also got the "You Need To Set An Example" lecture. But in the back of my mind, I said, "Damn an example, I'm setting precedents". Yes, I was the first to do many things. The first to run away, the first to cut my hair without my mothers permission, the first to get a tattoo without permission and the first to steal and get caught by the man who owned the bodega across the street from my house.

Now, don't think all of my firsts were bad! I have done some crazy things growing up, some that still have gone unnoticed, but I rarely got in trouble for them because I was the "Model" student. Good grades were my anti-beatings. Every time I would sense I was about to get into trouble, I'd bring up another "A" I got in school, or an award I won, or how well I did at a track meet or basketball game.

People used to tease my mother by calling her "Mommie Dearest" because of the tight reign she kept on us. But when I think back, I think she did a pretty damn good job raising us. I can honestly say, that during my childhood, I only received two 'whoopings' and I can still feel the sting of the 'switch' when I think about it. The last 'whooping' I received at the hands of "Mommie Dearest" was when I was 14 years old and she discovered that I had a tattoo on my arm, I guess the two weeks work I put into hiding it was a waste of time.

Now with that said, I am a firm believer in spanking a kid's behind! I came across a You Tube video earlier this week of 7 year old boy who decided to steal his grandmother's truck, so he could do 'hood rat stuff'! I repeat, this kid is 7 years old!



Where is his Mommie Dearest?!?!

This kid could have killed people, but he wanted to do 'hood rat stuff' with his friend!

But guess what people, the grandmother is afraid to 'whoop' him because she's afraid she might go to jail! The kid feels that an appropriate punishment would be a weekend of no video games (I'm quite sure his grandmother rushed out to buy him Grand Theft Auto, when it was released as well).

This is a prime example, in MY OPINION, of how kids are beating the system. I've heard children tell their parents that if they hit them, they'll call the police! I'll be damned if my 8 year old threatens me with a call to 911.

So here we have this 7 year old, who knows his grandmother won't beat him because she's afraid of what might happen to her. In this day, people are more afraid of their own kids and the 'paybacks' they may face from them if they choose to discipline them in their own way.

Jail bait.

I'm sorry, but that's what that kid is. Is it to late for an intervention? No, I doubt it. Will his grandmother find the means to intervene? Who knows. But there's one thing I'm certain about, when you're the parent, it's your JOB to instill fear in the heart of you kid, not the other way around!

Whatever happened to tough love?


(p.s, I am not condoning the abuse of children which is what Joan Crawford inflicted upon her children.)






For some reason, this is alot funnier in Spanish!

Mad Max Beyond ThunderProm

One of my favorite movies as a kid was, "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome", with Tina Turner & Mel Gibson. The main thing I loved about the movie was the costume and set designs. Although it didn't have one of the best plots, but at that time I was 11 years old, so that really wasn't a concern of mine.

In the movie the promised land is referred to as "Tomorrow Morrow Land", and Max (Mel Gibson) has agreed to help the lost children in their search of "Tomorrow Morrow Land", but then comes across Aunt Entity (Tina Turner) and the battle ensues.

Who would have thunk it, that almost 23 years later in the year 2008, the offspring of the lost children of "Tomorrow Morrow Land" are alive and well and now attending their first prom!

People, please get your kids!! Upon viewing these photos, I figured out they were from a New Jersey prom, so I must bow my head in shame.

I'm not sure what parent in their right minds would let their children walk out of the house looking like this:




For some reason this kid reminds me of K-Ci from Jodeci. I'm not sure who made this outfit for this couple, but I'd ask for a refund.




The family that PROMS together, stays together. I'm upset that this kid's first prom memory won't be that of her own senior prom, but of her daycare prom.




At first glance, she reminded me of Evillene from The Wiz, sorry girl, but the bad news is, is that your dress is horrendous!




Hmmm, you tell me, is her date a guy with breasts or a girl? I can't seem to tell. I have no words for either outfit.



Pink & Green was definitely the color to be seen in at this prom. If I was a guy, and my date made me wear something like that, she'd have to go solo.


My question is, whatever happened to just going to David's Bridal or looking at Prom magazines for a dress? Am I that old? What parent in their right mind, would let their child walk out of the house looking like an escapee from Thunderdome? I'm all for experimenting with fashion, but these kids look like science projects gone bad!

Mr. Inter-Office Male

Last week I had an unexpected run in with my organization's "Inter-Office Male". You know, that one guy who's managed to date/sleep with/relationshiptize several women in the company/organization/office. Usually I try to keep my distance from said man, because of his reputation. Emails to him are kept to a minimum. If I have an issue that involves him helping me, I usually contact someone else in his office first. Basically I avoid him like the plaque.

From my HR/EEO background there are a few things I raise my eyebrow to, and that's inter-office romances/relationships. To me, it's a known rule of thumb not to have them and I've even worked for corporations/organizations that had policies on them. So when I heard about his reputation, the scarlet letter was immediately thrown on his forehead.


Now, I try to be cordial to everyone in my immediate office and throughout the organization, but on this day in particular my cordialness was tested. Mr. Inter-office Male managed to push all of my wrong buttons within a 20 minute conversation. I don't know if he thought just because I was a 'sista' that he could get away with the overt flirting or because of his good looks, but during the hours of 8-2pm (yeah I love my schedule) I am professional at all times, and if by chance there's an after-hours work function, I still keep a certain amount of professionalism as well.

So he tried to pull a few of my cards and asked a few personal questions in regards to dating, etc..etc...I managed to redirect his attention to the subject matters that were at hand for the most part. That was until the subject matter turned to an issue I noticed about our organizations benefit coverage in regards to breast exams and that we were only covering women over 35 yrs of age.

I'm not sure if he was doing his best impersonation of Pavlov's dog, but upon hearing the word "BREASTS", he practically started drooling and looking at mine and decided to be a smart-ass and say, "Well, yeah, you definitely need to get those checked out".

(insert the WHAT THE FUCK FACE??)

Everyone that was around us went silent. You could hear a pin drop. My assistant gave me a look as to say, "Please, (insert gov't name), don't hurt him!".

Toooo late!

I shot him a look, and basically told him, because other women may find his overt flirting and the fact that he's just about slept with every woman in the organization or the fact that men have come to the job threatening him b/c he's slept with their girlfriend/wife some sort of perverse form of attraction, but I don't and if he wants to keep his job at our organization and still be able to pay his hefty child support payments on time, that he needs to back-off. End of conversation.

Yes, my neck was going. Yes, I had my finger pointed in his face and he's lucky I didn't stab him in his foot with my 3 inch stiletto heel. Hopefully I've managed to make my point clear with Mr. Inter-Office Male, because I'd hate to have to follow through on my promises to him.

In any event, being an Inter-Office Male is nothing any man should be proud about, especially if other women find out how you really are. Yes, we whisper about you in the ladies room, we laugh when we find out about the major drama behind your office courtships, and we're smart enough to stay away.

With that said, how do you, the readers, feel about "inter-office relationships"? Yay or nay?

Sexual Harassment On The Playground: Gone Are The Days of Double-Dutch & Hopscotch

When I was in 8th grade, it never ceased to amaze me how certain girls in my class felt that it was an 'honor' to get randomly felt-up by a male classmate, especially if he was the cute popular one. Back then, at the ages of 12/13, every one's hormones were raging, but my mother didn't raise a 'fast-tail' girl (that's what my grandmother called them).

I remember one incident in particular and it took place during 7th period Chemistry class. Mr. Sakowitz had his typical coffee in one hand and cigarette in the other, yes my teacher smoked during class. As I made my way to my desk, I was approached by another classmate named Mustafa. Typically I tried to avoid him at all costs because he was a known culprit when it came to ass grabbing.

When I finally reached my desk, he did the unthinkable, and groped my behind. I immediately dropped my books and yelled at him. He looked at me as if I was in the wrong and called me a "bitch". At that point, the next thing I knew, I threw a right hook and punched him dead in the eye and all I could now hear playing in my head as I'm writing this is Queen Latifah singing in my head, "Who you calling a bitch? I punched him dead in the eye..U.N.I.T.Y!".

Once he managed to get back on his feet, the whole class was basically in tears from laughter. Mr. Sakowitz, took a drag from his cigarette and said to Mustafa, "Well, ain't that something. Girls, maybe some of you need to take a few boxing lessons from (insert legal name) and boys, next time think twice before you try grabbing a girl".

Now, that was back in 19_ _ and I was in 8th grade. I guess you can say that was typical pre-teen/teen behaviour. But nowadays it's a whole different type of ball game.

Yesterday afternoon, my nephew and son were sitting at the dining room table doing their homework. My son called me in because he said he saw something disgusting happen at school during recess. He goes on to tell me that he saw a 4th grade boy put his hands down a 4th grade girl's pants. It took everything for me not to curse out loud and say, "What the fuck!". I asked him did he tell any of the teachers that were out there and he said he did, but they didn't do anything. At this point, I asked my nephew if he saw the same thing, and he said yes as well.

My question is, what are parents teaching children nowadays? But more importantly, what are they not teaching their children?

Some people will blame it on the media, i.e, tv, video games, music. But parents need to be held accountable for the actions of their kids. My son shouldn't have to come home from school and the subject of conversation shouldn't be about the fresh-tail kids on the playground. Did I mention this was an ELEMENTARY school from K-5?

This morning I placed a phone call to the school and the Board of Education, expressing my concern about certain things that have taken place on the playground in recent weeks. I've also talked to the teacher who's students were involved in the incident. Not only does it seem that Sexual Harassment training needs to take place in the workplace, but it also needs to take place in the school systems as well, because obviously some one's parents have failed them.